Since ThePrancingPony has put up a boyfriend application and said that cross-dressers can also apply, I took the opportunity to say "hell yeah" and went to work. Let me know of any of you are interested in having some penguin meat. ;D (That doesn't sound very tasty.)
Basics Name: Cirilo Nicknames: "Young Man", "Little Boy" and "Mini". You may call me "Penguin". Age: 20 Height: Can you get that for me? I can't reach. }; Weight:A lot, like, morbidly obese. Natural Hair Color: Brown Current Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Dark brown Style of Clothing: MEN'S Best physical quality: My dick. Current location: In front of my computer.
Getting to Know You Are you a virgin? YES. If no how many past sexual partners have you had? 0. Do you smoke? No. Do you drink? What do you drink? Water. Otherwise, I'd die. Do you currently use any illegal substances? Music? What do you do for a living? NOTHING. Furthest level of Education? High school diploma. :[ Can you cook? I burn water. Do you have any siblings? Brother. What is your views on religion? Do you have a religion? I worship Shigeru Miyamoto. How many piercings do you have? Tattoos? I has a tat. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? 80's metal, dance and classical. Top 5 bands/artists? Iron Maiden, Daft Punk, Bond, Kenji Ohtsuki and Tschakovsky. Do you believe in Unicorns? YES. Have you ever been horse back riding? Once. Do you like taking & being in pictures? (if yes, show me some) NO. Are you more spontaneous or structured? It's not in my schedule to answer this question. How do you feel about snakes and reptiles?
How do you handle your emotions? What emotions? Describe yourself in 3 words Quiet, imaginative, spazz.
Why should I pick you Describe the perfect date you would take me on.
I'll let you steer.
Why should I pick you as my boyfriend/boy toy/man meat?
List all relevant/special skills for this position.
Scenarios It's a rainy day out and we're stuck inside all day. How do you keep yourself and myself from getting bored?
I'm trying on some clothes and I ask you if it makes my butt look big, how do you respond?
One of my animals just died. What do you do to cheer me up? Bring it back to life, with a little help from my bff, Satan.
Past relationships Why did your last relationship fail? Because she didn't exist.
What is your longest relationship? The one with my mother. (Not in that way.)
What's the sweetest thing you've ever done for a girlfriend? Never had a girlfriend.
Have you ever cheated? You can't cheat if you don't have anyone to cheat on. :P
Scoring On a scale of one to 10 (10 being the highest score) how interested are you in me?
On a scale of one to 10 (10 being the highest score) how attractive do you think I am? Eight out of ten. You don't look geeky enough. D:
On a scale of one to 10 (10 being the highest score) why are you doing this?
Please attach a head shot and full body photo with your application.
Additional note: If I am not chosen, I completely understand. The world is just not ready for inter-species relationships.